Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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