Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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