i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
