it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't deserve a penis
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
