i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
