How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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