dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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