he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize