So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
