summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
