Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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