hell yes lets make some ravioli
she looked like the before picture.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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