just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
