i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize