You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
