if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You did what with his pubic hair?
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