i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize