All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
