you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
