Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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