I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
