i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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