I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize