yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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