That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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