I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
