If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
