You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
