Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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