She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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