Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think my moral compass just broke
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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