also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
