dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
