Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
