Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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