I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I understand Curling. That high.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
