she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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