Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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