I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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