The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
