people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
