I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
