there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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