i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
