was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
