I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
