This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
