He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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