So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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