I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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