I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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