how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize