IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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