mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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