My friends, they love my intelligence
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
