I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
