Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
