did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
