apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
