I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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