3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
