Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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