my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
ttyl tear gas
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize