Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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